Review - On The Road by Jack Kerouac

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

Viking Press, September 5 1957

307 pages

Hipster Beatniks be damned. “One The Road” chronicles Jack Kerouac’s (albeit under the guise of Sal Paradise) travels across America living the life of the Beat generation. Accompanying him on his many journeys is his pal, the fast talking life loving Dean Moriarty. The thing that sets this book apart from many of the other books I’ve read is that it isn’t technically fiction. It uses the classic crime drama tune the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

While the book follows Sal all over the country I found some of my favorite parts were when he was in the Central Valley California. Call me sappy but it was amazing to hear about what both my home town and the area in general were like in the late 1940s. I have to say, for as much as Fresno has changed it hasn’t lost much of that feeling.

In fact, most of the places that Sal and crew ventured to that I’ve had the good fortune to visit maintain the same spirit they did in the book. What’s the saying “No matter how much things change they always stay the same.”

As the book progressed I found myself wondering what the points of these stories were. At the end of each section you barely got an idea that anyone gained any understanding or learned a lesson. But then I sat back and began to think, maybe that was the point. Is there really a lesson to be learned in life? Why can’t we just live and love without having to slow our roles and grow up?

Like Demetri Martin said in one of his stand up shows “Life is a series of ifs added up over time.” That is the universal feeling I got out of the book, that it is the sum of all of his experiences that will eventually shape his character.

So I guess that’s what appealed most about this book to me. I’m sure other people have different interpretations and most of them go back specifically to the Beat generation. But I’m a rebel, I’m different. I don’t think it just defines the Beat, I think it can be interpreted to the spirit of youth and how in a way we are who we are. We all have friends like Dean Moriarty who’s kind of a douchebag. And Old Bull Lee asking us what we’re after in life. In the end aren’t we all Sal Paradise in a way? We’re all trying to find our place in the world and want to have fun while we do it.

10/10 I dig it. This is a very thought provoking book

*Note: So next week we're going to review "On The Bro'd". The parody novel to this book. I started reading excerpts on Tumblr which is cool and shit but it definitely has a different feel than Jack Kerouac's story. Since they are based on the same idea but approached in such different ways, we're going to do a compare and contrast to see if Bro'd conveys the same message as Road did 60 years ago.

Review - Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception by Maggie Stiefvater

Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception (Gathering of Faerie) by Maggie Stiefvater

Published by Flux, October 8, 2008

325 pages

ASIN: B002WGJX2G

Deirdre Monaghan has a gift. As far most people are concerned that gift is her musical talent. But the truth is much more than that. Deirdre is a cloverhand, one of the few mortals that can see and interact with the realm of Faeries. Her life takes a turn towards the weird when she meets Luke, a strange boy who is utterly obsessed with her. What Deirdre doesn’t realize is that Luke is a gallowglass, an assassin for the Fae sent to kill her. Luckily Luke has fallen in love with Deirdre and now wishes to save her from the wrath of the Faerie Queen.

Lament is your typical YA romance novel in the same vein as Twilight. You have a girl who is an extremely talented musician but is otherwise invisible*. One day at a music competition during her pre-performance ritual of throwing up in the bathroom she meets literally the man of her dreams. He holds her hair back and practices with her before the competition. Deirdre is immediately taken by him, and with good reason, he’s mentioned often as being very attractive. Even other attractive characters in the book are described as being as attractive as Luke but in a different way.

(*This is never shown and always talked about.)

Aside from an interesting premise there isn’t much in the way of a story here. The plot seems to be driven by the author’s sheer force of will. She ignores how real people would react in similar situations and has her characters just go with the flow. I was watching an episode of The Daly Show and Tim Daly was trying to identify with his character to understand how Tim Daly the actor should be portraying Tim Daly the Character. Whoopi Goldberg eventually told him that she had a similar problem when she started on The View and decided onscreen Whoopi and real life Whoopi should go see “Back to The Future” together.

The whole story was hilarious and preposterous but more believable than a lot of the decisions Deirdre and company made.

If you’re into YA romance novels for the sake of beautifully described fantasy worlds then this book is perfect for you. But if you’re looking for a novel with a believable (believable doesn’t have to be realistic) and coherent plot then I would recommend you look elsewhere.


Rated 3/10

5 Books That Make You Proud to Be Irish (Even if You Aren’t)

I sit here writing this on the Wednesday before St. Patrick’s Day. Why? Because come Saturday, I’ll be joining all of the other Americans who pretend to be Irish on that one day of the year. That’s right; I’m swapping out my Bourbon for Irish whiskey and my Belgium ambers for Guinness.

But one thing that is a year round tradition is me reading great works of literature. So in celebration of this awesome event here is my list of five fantastic books by notable Irish authors:

Oscar Wilde – The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891)

A story of the dangers of a hedonistic lifestyle, Dorian Gray was a young man revered for his beauty. Tainted by a nobleman who convinced him that his beauty and pleasure was the only good in life, Dorian wishes that his picture aged instead of him. Oscar Wilde’s only published novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray serves as the perfect warning against living a life of pure pleasure and aesthetics.

Jonathan Swift – Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, in Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships (Gulliver’s Travels) (1726)

I first learned of Gulliver’s Travels from a VHS copy of the 1939 animated movie my grandpa owned. It wasn’t until years later that I read the book and it’s satirical commentary on humanity and human nature. Broken into four parts each adventure Lemuel takes is a social commentary about various aspects of European government, religion and lifestyle.

Bram Stoker – Dracula (1897)

The book that started it all, a new generation’s fascination with all things vampire. I have to admit that this book is also what first got me interested in vampires and the occult. Before, I was a scaredy-cat kid who was afraid of his own shadow. But Bram Stoker’s book about the Transylvanian king of vampires inspired and fascinated me. And a word to the wise, don’t try to do a book report on the Keanu Reeves Gary Oldman movie, teachers are onto that.

James Joyce – Ulysses (1922)

The book that drove James Joyce crazy (not really) and was banned in the U.K. and U.S. Ulysses follows Leopold Bloom through his passage of Dublin in 1904. Drawing parallels between Homer’s Odyssey (Ulysses is a latinization of Odysseus) Ulysses is a challenge to read and understand. I’ve been working on it for the better part of two years and I still don’t get it. James Joyce’s style as it is in Finnegans Wake is full of allusions and enigmas and will strain your brain muscle. But it is a good read none the less and I have a feeling that if you’re a high school student you’ll get extra bonus points for doing a book report on a 230,000 word book.

C.S. Lewis – The Chronicles of Narnia series (1950 – 1956)

While not a single book I just can’t see it in my heart to pick one out of the Narnia series. I suppose I have The Chronicles of Narnia to thank for my love of reading and passion for fantasy. This was in fact the first series I read. When I was little my mom was told that I my reading level was several years above my grade level. She decided to cultivate this by forcing me to read the entire series and a bunch of other books over the summer. I spent more time in the library than I did with my friends that summer. But it worked, so I guess thanks mom. Many people have noted the religious symbolism in the Narnia series and that is no accident. C.S. Lewis partially wrote the series to answer questions he was being asked on religion. Jesus lions aside The Chronicles of Narnia is one of my favorite series of all time.

So there it is. Five amazing books by five influential Irish novelists. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. What are your top five books?

Review - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Grand Central Publishing March 2, 2010

ASIN: B00351DSCS

While I try to keep my reviews comical and entertaining I found this review especially difficult because the material is already comical and entertaining. It’s like if I were to try and make a joke about The Colbert Report. If you try to make something that is already funny and great even more funny and great you run the risk of ruining it.

With that said my initial reaction to this book was wow... just wow

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is one of the best books I’ve read in a while. It’s a hilarious yet oddly believable telling of a well-known time in American history and the unknown truth behind its motives. To be specific, did you know that the Civil War was fought to banish vampires from America and prevent them from enslaving mankind?

Presented as part memoir part research project, “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” tells the story of the man who was to be the greatest president and the greatest vampire hunter.

Growing up on the American frontier, Abraham’s life was thrown into darkness after the death of his mother through mysterious causes. Years later, a drunken Thomas Lincoln admits to his eleven year old son that it was a vampire that killed his mother. After hearing his father's tale Abraham Lincoln begins his journey into infamy with a single line scribbled in his journal. “I hereby resolve to kill every vampire in America.”

I really enjoyed the pacing of the book. It wasn’t all action all the time which added to the realism of the story. Seth does a lot of exposition into the life of an aging Lincoln and explores the moments of his life that affect his actions and motives, which further brought life to the fictional version of the real Lincoln.

What really works for this book as with other parody novels is how they can take serious subjects to extreme levels of ridiculousness yet still maintain the serious tone. Not once did Abraham Lincoln break character and shout out “Wocka wocka bitches!” as he chopped off a vampire’s head. It’s the same reason the Onion is so popular. They tell the most ridiculous news stories but they do it with a straight face and such conviction that you almost kind of believe them.

As I was reading the book I was on a road trip and couldn’t help but laugh out loud before telling my family “did you know that … was really because of vampires?” to which my mom would roll her eyes at my ridiculousness.

If you’re a fan of Vampires and/or American history I strongly recommend you read Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It is a perfect blend of action, comedy and wit to keep you entertained and amused.

10/10

(*Side Note: I’m also super looking forward to seeing the movie when it comes out in June. It will be interesting to see in what direction they take the story as the book’s action is mostly retold in Abraham’s journal. What are your thoughts on the movie? Excited, hate the idea, who gives a rat's ass?)

Why You Should Love Steampunk

In a few days, the Chicago Literary Hall of Fame will honor Gene Wolfe with the first ever Fuller Award and recognize his contributions to literature. The theme of the gala event is steampunk and guests are encouraged to attend in full regalia.

It's a steampunk party, who could ask for more

As the event draws near and is advertised on Facebook as well as Twitter, I am surprised to see that there are people who still have no idea what steampunk is.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the genre let me provide you with a quick breakdown. Steampunk is a genre of science fiction that takes place in the Victorian era. It postulates that the industrial age was capable of advancing beyond what history teaches. There are alternate fantasy timelines where the world is full of flying machines, 19^th century computers (they call them engines), sassy banter and incredible action.

This all sets up the question of how would our world appear today if the computer age came in the early 19^th century instead of the mid to late 20^th?

While Steampunk is a relatively new term, coming into popularity in the 80’s, there are plenty of classical examples of the style. Jules Verne’s 1870 novel, ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea’, predicted the submarine long before it was actually developed. Many historians are amazed at how accurate his predictions of underwater travel were.

Even his earlier novel ‘From The Earth to The Moon’ accurately calculated the thrust necessary to reach the moon (although people were fired out of a cannon instead of piloting a shuttle).

Another classic example is ‘The Time Machine ’ by H.G. Wells in which a scientist builds a working time machine in Victorian England.

One of my favorite steampunk novels is ‘The Difference Engine ’ by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. The Difference Engine explores a world where computers were invented in the early 1800’s and became common place by 1850. A small group of adventurers stumble upon a cache of punch cards that turn out to confirm Godel’s incompleteness theorems of mathematics and logic that wouldn’t be discovered until 1931 in our timeline.

Describing 19^th century hackers as “ clackers” (a reference to the punch cards used by computers) and having an amazingly character driven story, ‘The Difference Engine’ had me hooked from page one.

Gene Wolfe’s contributions to the world of steampunk include among others the short story ‘Why I Was Hanged’ in the ‘Ghosts by Gaslight: Stories of Steampunk and Supernatural Suspense ’ anthology. It is the story of James Brooks, a manservant who is visited by a ghostly apparition who wishes him to prevent her coming murder by killing the man intent on killing her. It comes to be known that the murderer is his master who was courting the young woman. While more supernatural than steampunk, ‘Why I Was Hanged’ is an amazing short story.

Even I’ve taken the plunge into the genre. I wrote a story depicting the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew aboard the sky ship the HMS Enterprise battling the ruthless and mysterious pirates the Borg. It’s an unpublished work but hopefully that will change soon.

Not too many TNG online but hey, It's Spock

Steampunk takes science fiction/fantasy and paints it in a whole different light. The stories are limited only by the author’s imagination and introduce an era of wonder and mystery.

A new appreciation for the genre is manifesting into new mediums. With the popularity of Panic! At The Disco’s music for The Ballad of Mona Lisa featuring The League of STEAM in full steampunk regalia. The video takes place during a Victorian era wake where members of the league learn that Brandon Urie’s character was murdered by his betrothed. The costumes worn by Brandon and the other are AMAZING. I’ve been doing some research online trying to build my own steampunk outfit but it is not cheap and yet I am.

Whether you’re reading an epic novel or watching a great show on SyFy just think how much better it would be if it were steampunk. Trust me, it would be SO much better.

Don't Cry Girl - Review: Lilith's Tears by David Jones

Lilith's Tears by David Jones

ISBN-10: 1466426683

Publisher: CreateSpace October 11, 2011

288 pages

After being washed ashore on a mysterious tropical island Captain Trebane is forced to wonder what became of his crew and love of his life Serena after the freak storm struck The Stolen Rose. He quickly learns he is not alone on the island as he meets the blood thirsty and immortal savages the Eternus. Worse still, Trebane discovers that the Eternus have Serena and he must fight against the immortal horde to save her.-          Summary by Kevin Askew 

To paraphrase Martin Lawrence’s character near the end of Bad Boys II “Now that’s how you write! From now on, that’s how you write!”

I wish I could say I read Lilith’s Tears all the way through in one sitting but I can’t. I had a lot of stuff going on in my life, what with job hunting and planning my trip up to Seattle. But boy, did I ever look forward to my free time where I got to read this amazing book.

While this book didn’t have a dragon like the last book I read it more than made up for it with (*Spoiler) EFFING Pirates!

Trebane is a cross between Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds, Dante from ‘Dante’s Inferno’ and Westley from ‘The Princess Bride’.

BAMF

Shortly after regaining consciousness on a freaky island he didn’t even know existed Trebane is attacked by the blood thirsty locals the Eturnus who at first bear such a striking resemblance to Reavers that I was afraid they’d get sued by Joss Whedon. I still find the resemblance uncanny but they’re super Reavers if anything.

Anyway, so Mal, I mean Trebane goes and gets himself into some deep sh- trouble and has to get bailed out by my favorite character of the whole book, the dread pirate Sarn. A guy so badass that he’s been able to survive on Hell’s Island for the better half of a century (suck it Gordon Ramsey!).

Sarn acts as Virgil to Trebane’s Dante, showing him around the island and providing insight into its mysteries. He also schools Trebane in what it means to be a pirate and why they’re just trying to fight oppression… then he steals his wallet (jk jk)

I was surprised to find that Act 3 started halfway through the book. It also started out as my least favorite part of the whole damn thing. The king of the Eternus is a skeleton who goes by the name of Torn. Boiled down to his essence Torn is basically an evil son of a bitch. He has no qualms about his lot in life. He wants to destroy anything and everything that stumbles upon his island. That is until fair Serena is brought to him. His basic instinct is to kill her but there’s something about her that’s stopping him.

Now I’m normally of the belief that you get a more menacing enemy the less you know about him. Take the Dark Lord Sauron, for most of the Lord of The Rings books he’s just a badass burning eye. There’s little exposition going on there. We know he’s evil because J.R.R. never bothered to prove otherwise. I’ll be honest; I struggled through the first bit of Act 3 because the author was trying to humanize a character who tells us himself he’s pure rage.

Serena is forced to fight off Stockholm syndrome because of Torn’s behavior towards her. He allows her to wander castle Grayskull and his apple orchard (get it?! Garden of Eden, Lilith’s tears… Apples) with no supervision.

Not far off from how I pictured it

I won’t give away too much more because that would spoil the ending of the book but I will say, the expose done in the beginning has a purpose and it is a doozy.

Overall, Lilith’s Tears is a very well written book about to what lengths one would have to go to save the woman he loves. It is full of subtle and overt references to many great works of myth and legend. The climactic battle between the forces of good an evil was exceptionally crafted.

If you’re a fan of pirates, mythology, immortal skeleton kings or love stories then Lilith’s Tears would make for a truly good read.

9/10

He'Brewin I'm drinkin' - HE'BREW Origin Pomegranate Ale

He’Brew Origin Pomegranate Ale

Shmaltz Brewing Company, San Francisco California

8% ABV

$5.39 p/22oz. bottle at BevMo

If there's one thing I've taken from my trips around the world both at BC's Pizza and Beer in Clovis California (stop on by they're awesome people) and literally, it's that there are tons of great beers out there. I have only had the pleasure of experiencing a select few of what is out there and that excites me. There is always something new to try and I'm game for whatever.

This is the second half of my Books to Drink By review series and I hope it helps steer some of you towards some great drinks you haven't tried before. Eventually I will be merging the two features of this blog, pairing the themes of a book with one or more alcoholic beverages (or non-alcoholic if I have any underage viewers). Like, the Twilight series is like Coors Light. They were both created for the sole purpose of getting rich off the masses while barely resembling what they claim to be (literature in the case of Twilight and beer in the case of Coors). And after you've finished both you're left with a huge headache.

Every Friday I will try to keep them to their seasonal appropriateness but I can't make any promises. 

Our first beer up is He'Brew Origin Pomegranate Ale

This is the first certified kosher beer that I can recall drinking. I may have at one point in my life stumbled into a Jewish Deli and asked for something boozy. My time with Mossad is a little hazy. But hey, we’re drinking beer so it’s all good.

Yes I took the picture myself. Delicious huh?

Origin is a clear glowing amber beer with a cloudy white head that dissipates surprisingly fast. Pouring it into a 0.4l glass gave me about a finger of head that was gone within seconds. The aroma was a sweet tart that is reminiscent of a Belgium ale but not as harsh or bitter. There was a faint pine-citrus aroma which isn’t too uncommon for a California beer. You smell it a lot in beers from the northern area. Strangely enough for a beer that boasts being pomegranate based there wasn’t much of a fruity smell. Taking in the first draw of the beer was smooth. It is pretty dry with almost no fruity flavors but afterwards you get that faint pomegranate taste that lingers for a while. Overall He’Brew Origin is crisp light and refreshing with no harsh or bitter overtones. The subtle flavor of pomegranate serves to complement rather than define the beer.