This is something I started working on whilst at work yesterday. I figure since I'm not going to publish it I might as well post it up here and fulfil my obligation to post original material. I think it's actually pretty funny... but that's just me.
The alarm goes off at 5:30 in the morning every damn day. Why do I set it that early? I never get up right when the alarm goes off, snooze. 5:40, 5:50, finally I roll out of bed and start getting ready. I set my stereo to shuffle and hop in the shower. Free bird starts playing… awesome. Now I can actually time how long it takes me to get ready. A song that is almost exactly ten minutes long is the perfect measurement of any activity. I get out of the shower in half a Free bird. I’m able to shave, brush my teeth, throw some gel in my hair and put on some pit juice in the other half. Damn I’m good this morning. I spend the rest of my pre morning checking emails, and scoping out videos online. 6:30 comes around and it’s time for me to be on my way.
I’m out the door with my coffee in one hand and my keys in the other. I struggle to get my bag over my shoulder without spilling my java. Success! Get in the car and start the engine. It’s a bit chilly outside so I turn on my defrost and take this opportunity to select my playlist for the commute to work. And I’m off. I hit the road like I’m out for vengeance. Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down, STOP! Damn traffic jam on the freeway, exactly what I was trying to avoid. It’s a snails pace, nowhere to go except where you already are. I finish my coffee and my bladder starts to play games with me. Hurry… move… are you kidding me?... why did you let him in?... DRIVE! You have room! What are you waiting for?! GO!!!
Finally I get to work. Everything is going to be fine, just another eight hours and I get to go home.
