Review - On The Road by Jack Kerouac

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

Viking Press, September 5 1957

307 pages

Hipster Beatniks be damned. “One The Road” chronicles Jack Kerouac’s (albeit under the guise of Sal Paradise) travels across America living the life of the Beat generation. Accompanying him on his many journeys is his pal, the fast talking life loving Dean Moriarty. The thing that sets this book apart from many of the other books I’ve read is that it isn’t technically fiction. It uses the classic crime drama tune the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

While the book follows Sal all over the country I found some of my favorite parts were when he was in the Central Valley California. Call me sappy but it was amazing to hear about what both my home town and the area in general were like in the late 1940s. I have to say, for as much as Fresno has changed it hasn’t lost much of that feeling.

In fact, most of the places that Sal and crew ventured to that I’ve had the good fortune to visit maintain the same spirit they did in the book. What’s the saying “No matter how much things change they always stay the same.”

As the book progressed I found myself wondering what the points of these stories were. At the end of each section you barely got an idea that anyone gained any understanding or learned a lesson. But then I sat back and began to think, maybe that was the point. Is there really a lesson to be learned in life? Why can’t we just live and love without having to slow our roles and grow up?

Like Demetri Martin said in one of his stand up shows “Life is a series of ifs added up over time.” That is the universal feeling I got out of the book, that it is the sum of all of his experiences that will eventually shape his character.

So I guess that’s what appealed most about this book to me. I’m sure other people have different interpretations and most of them go back specifically to the Beat generation. But I’m a rebel, I’m different. I don’t think it just defines the Beat, I think it can be interpreted to the spirit of youth and how in a way we are who we are. We all have friends like Dean Moriarty who’s kind of a douchebag. And Old Bull Lee asking us what we’re after in life. In the end aren’t we all Sal Paradise in a way? We’re all trying to find our place in the world and want to have fun while we do it.

10/10 I dig it. This is a very thought provoking book

*Note: So next week we're going to review "On The Bro'd". The parody novel to this book. I started reading excerpts on Tumblr which is cool and shit but it definitely has a different feel than Jack Kerouac's story. Since they are based on the same idea but approached in such different ways, we're going to do a compare and contrast to see if Bro'd conveys the same message as Road did 60 years ago.

Review - Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception by Maggie Stiefvater

Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception (Gathering of Faerie) by Maggie Stiefvater

Published by Flux, October 8, 2008

325 pages

ASIN: B002WGJX2G

Deirdre Monaghan has a gift. As far most people are concerned that gift is her musical talent. But the truth is much more than that. Deirdre is a cloverhand, one of the few mortals that can see and interact with the realm of Faeries. Her life takes a turn towards the weird when she meets Luke, a strange boy who is utterly obsessed with her. What Deirdre doesn’t realize is that Luke is a gallowglass, an assassin for the Fae sent to kill her. Luckily Luke has fallen in love with Deirdre and now wishes to save her from the wrath of the Faerie Queen.

Lament is your typical YA romance novel in the same vein as Twilight. You have a girl who is an extremely talented musician but is otherwise invisible*. One day at a music competition during her pre-performance ritual of throwing up in the bathroom she meets literally the man of her dreams. He holds her hair back and practices with her before the competition. Deirdre is immediately taken by him, and with good reason, he’s mentioned often as being very attractive. Even other attractive characters in the book are described as being as attractive as Luke but in a different way.

(*This is never shown and always talked about.)

Aside from an interesting premise there isn’t much in the way of a story here. The plot seems to be driven by the author’s sheer force of will. She ignores how real people would react in similar situations and has her characters just go with the flow. I was watching an episode of The Daly Show and Tim Daly was trying to identify with his character to understand how Tim Daly the actor should be portraying Tim Daly the Character. Whoopi Goldberg eventually told him that she had a similar problem when she started on The View and decided onscreen Whoopi and real life Whoopi should go see “Back to The Future” together.

The whole story was hilarious and preposterous but more believable than a lot of the decisions Deirdre and company made.

If you’re into YA romance novels for the sake of beautifully described fantasy worlds then this book is perfect for you. But if you’re looking for a novel with a believable (believable doesn’t have to be realistic) and coherent plot then I would recommend you look elsewhere.


Rated 3/10

5 Books That Make You Proud to Be Irish (Even if You Aren’t)

I sit here writing this on the Wednesday before St. Patrick’s Day. Why? Because come Saturday, I’ll be joining all of the other Americans who pretend to be Irish on that one day of the year. That’s right; I’m swapping out my Bourbon for Irish whiskey and my Belgium ambers for Guinness.

But one thing that is a year round tradition is me reading great works of literature. So in celebration of this awesome event here is my list of five fantastic books by notable Irish authors:

Oscar Wilde – The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891)

A story of the dangers of a hedonistic lifestyle, Dorian Gray was a young man revered for his beauty. Tainted by a nobleman who convinced him that his beauty and pleasure was the only good in life, Dorian wishes that his picture aged instead of him. Oscar Wilde’s only published novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray serves as the perfect warning against living a life of pure pleasure and aesthetics.

Jonathan Swift – Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, in Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships (Gulliver’s Travels) (1726)

I first learned of Gulliver’s Travels from a VHS copy of the 1939 animated movie my grandpa owned. It wasn’t until years later that I read the book and it’s satirical commentary on humanity and human nature. Broken into four parts each adventure Lemuel takes is a social commentary about various aspects of European government, religion and lifestyle.

Bram Stoker – Dracula (1897)

The book that started it all, a new generation’s fascination with all things vampire. I have to admit that this book is also what first got me interested in vampires and the occult. Before, I was a scaredy-cat kid who was afraid of his own shadow. But Bram Stoker’s book about the Transylvanian king of vampires inspired and fascinated me. And a word to the wise, don’t try to do a book report on the Keanu Reeves Gary Oldman movie, teachers are onto that.

James Joyce – Ulysses (1922)

The book that drove James Joyce crazy (not really) and was banned in the U.K. and U.S. Ulysses follows Leopold Bloom through his passage of Dublin in 1904. Drawing parallels between Homer’s Odyssey (Ulysses is a latinization of Odysseus) Ulysses is a challenge to read and understand. I’ve been working on it for the better part of two years and I still don’t get it. James Joyce’s style as it is in Finnegans Wake is full of allusions and enigmas and will strain your brain muscle. But it is a good read none the less and I have a feeling that if you’re a high school student you’ll get extra bonus points for doing a book report on a 230,000 word book.

C.S. Lewis – The Chronicles of Narnia series (1950 – 1956)

While not a single book I just can’t see it in my heart to pick one out of the Narnia series. I suppose I have The Chronicles of Narnia to thank for my love of reading and passion for fantasy. This was in fact the first series I read. When I was little my mom was told that I my reading level was several years above my grade level. She decided to cultivate this by forcing me to read the entire series and a bunch of other books over the summer. I spent more time in the library than I did with my friends that summer. But it worked, so I guess thanks mom. Many people have noted the religious symbolism in the Narnia series and that is no accident. C.S. Lewis partially wrote the series to answer questions he was being asked on religion. Jesus lions aside The Chronicles of Narnia is one of my favorite series of all time.

So there it is. Five amazing books by five influential Irish novelists. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. What are your top five books?

Review - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Grand Central Publishing March 2, 2010

ASIN: B00351DSCS

While I try to keep my reviews comical and entertaining I found this review especially difficult because the material is already comical and entertaining. It’s like if I were to try and make a joke about The Colbert Report. If you try to make something that is already funny and great even more funny and great you run the risk of ruining it.

With that said my initial reaction to this book was wow... just wow

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is one of the best books I’ve read in a while. It’s a hilarious yet oddly believable telling of a well-known time in American history and the unknown truth behind its motives. To be specific, did you know that the Civil War was fought to banish vampires from America and prevent them from enslaving mankind?

Presented as part memoir part research project, “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” tells the story of the man who was to be the greatest president and the greatest vampire hunter.

Growing up on the American frontier, Abraham’s life was thrown into darkness after the death of his mother through mysterious causes. Years later, a drunken Thomas Lincoln admits to his eleven year old son that it was a vampire that killed his mother. After hearing his father's tale Abraham Lincoln begins his journey into infamy with a single line scribbled in his journal. “I hereby resolve to kill every vampire in America.”

I really enjoyed the pacing of the book. It wasn’t all action all the time which added to the realism of the story. Seth does a lot of exposition into the life of an aging Lincoln and explores the moments of his life that affect his actions and motives, which further brought life to the fictional version of the real Lincoln.

What really works for this book as with other parody novels is how they can take serious subjects to extreme levels of ridiculousness yet still maintain the serious tone. Not once did Abraham Lincoln break character and shout out “Wocka wocka bitches!” as he chopped off a vampire’s head. It’s the same reason the Onion is so popular. They tell the most ridiculous news stories but they do it with a straight face and such conviction that you almost kind of believe them.

As I was reading the book I was on a road trip and couldn’t help but laugh out loud before telling my family “did you know that … was really because of vampires?” to which my mom would roll her eyes at my ridiculousness.

If you’re a fan of Vampires and/or American history I strongly recommend you read Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It is a perfect blend of action, comedy and wit to keep you entertained and amused.

10/10

(*Side Note: I’m also super looking forward to seeing the movie when it comes out in June. It will be interesting to see in what direction they take the story as the book’s action is mostly retold in Abraham’s journal. What are your thoughts on the movie? Excited, hate the idea, who gives a rat's ass?)

Why You Should Love Steampunk

In a few days, the Chicago Literary Hall of Fame will honor Gene Wolfe with the first ever Fuller Award and recognize his contributions to literature. The theme of the gala event is steampunk and guests are encouraged to attend in full regalia.

It's a steampunk party, who could ask for more

As the event draws near and is advertised on Facebook as well as Twitter, I am surprised to see that there are people who still have no idea what steampunk is.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the genre let me provide you with a quick breakdown. Steampunk is a genre of science fiction that takes place in the Victorian era. It postulates that the industrial age was capable of advancing beyond what history teaches. There are alternate fantasy timelines where the world is full of flying machines, 19^th century computers (they call them engines), sassy banter and incredible action.

This all sets up the question of how would our world appear today if the computer age came in the early 19^th century instead of the mid to late 20^th?

While Steampunk is a relatively new term, coming into popularity in the 80’s, there are plenty of classical examples of the style. Jules Verne’s 1870 novel, ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea’, predicted the submarine long before it was actually developed. Many historians are amazed at how accurate his predictions of underwater travel were.

Even his earlier novel ‘From The Earth to The Moon’ accurately calculated the thrust necessary to reach the moon (although people were fired out of a cannon instead of piloting a shuttle).

Another classic example is ‘The Time Machine ’ by H.G. Wells in which a scientist builds a working time machine in Victorian England.

One of my favorite steampunk novels is ‘The Difference Engine ’ by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. The Difference Engine explores a world where computers were invented in the early 1800’s and became common place by 1850. A small group of adventurers stumble upon a cache of punch cards that turn out to confirm Godel’s incompleteness theorems of mathematics and logic that wouldn’t be discovered until 1931 in our timeline.

Describing 19^th century hackers as “ clackers” (a reference to the punch cards used by computers) and having an amazingly character driven story, ‘The Difference Engine’ had me hooked from page one.

Gene Wolfe’s contributions to the world of steampunk include among others the short story ‘Why I Was Hanged’ in the ‘Ghosts by Gaslight: Stories of Steampunk and Supernatural Suspense ’ anthology. It is the story of James Brooks, a manservant who is visited by a ghostly apparition who wishes him to prevent her coming murder by killing the man intent on killing her. It comes to be known that the murderer is his master who was courting the young woman. While more supernatural than steampunk, ‘Why I Was Hanged’ is an amazing short story.

Even I’ve taken the plunge into the genre. I wrote a story depicting the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew aboard the sky ship the HMS Enterprise battling the ruthless and mysterious pirates the Borg. It’s an unpublished work but hopefully that will change soon.

Not too many TNG online but hey, It's Spock

Steampunk takes science fiction/fantasy and paints it in a whole different light. The stories are limited only by the author’s imagination and introduce an era of wonder and mystery.

A new appreciation for the genre is manifesting into new mediums. With the popularity of Panic! At The Disco’s music for The Ballad of Mona Lisa featuring The League of STEAM in full steampunk regalia. The video takes place during a Victorian era wake where members of the league learn that Brandon Urie’s character was murdered by his betrothed. The costumes worn by Brandon and the other are AMAZING. I’ve been doing some research online trying to build my own steampunk outfit but it is not cheap and yet I am.

Whether you’re reading an epic novel or watching a great show on SyFy just think how much better it would be if it were steampunk. Trust me, it would be SO much better.

Don't Cry Girl - Review: Lilith's Tears by David Jones

Lilith's Tears by David Jones

ISBN-10: 1466426683

Publisher: CreateSpace October 11, 2011

288 pages

After being washed ashore on a mysterious tropical island Captain Trebane is forced to wonder what became of his crew and love of his life Serena after the freak storm struck The Stolen Rose. He quickly learns he is not alone on the island as he meets the blood thirsty and immortal savages the Eternus. Worse still, Trebane discovers that the Eternus have Serena and he must fight against the immortal horde to save her.-          Summary by Kevin Askew 

To paraphrase Martin Lawrence’s character near the end of Bad Boys II “Now that’s how you write! From now on, that’s how you write!”

I wish I could say I read Lilith’s Tears all the way through in one sitting but I can’t. I had a lot of stuff going on in my life, what with job hunting and planning my trip up to Seattle. But boy, did I ever look forward to my free time where I got to read this amazing book.

While this book didn’t have a dragon like the last book I read it more than made up for it with (*Spoiler) EFFING Pirates!

Trebane is a cross between Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds, Dante from ‘Dante’s Inferno’ and Westley from ‘The Princess Bride’.

BAMF

Shortly after regaining consciousness on a freaky island he didn’t even know existed Trebane is attacked by the blood thirsty locals the Eturnus who at first bear such a striking resemblance to Reavers that I was afraid they’d get sued by Joss Whedon. I still find the resemblance uncanny but they’re super Reavers if anything.

Anyway, so Mal, I mean Trebane goes and gets himself into some deep sh- trouble and has to get bailed out by my favorite character of the whole book, the dread pirate Sarn. A guy so badass that he’s been able to survive on Hell’s Island for the better half of a century (suck it Gordon Ramsey!).

Sarn acts as Virgil to Trebane’s Dante, showing him around the island and providing insight into its mysteries. He also schools Trebane in what it means to be a pirate and why they’re just trying to fight oppression… then he steals his wallet (jk jk)

I was surprised to find that Act 3 started halfway through the book. It also started out as my least favorite part of the whole damn thing. The king of the Eternus is a skeleton who goes by the name of Torn. Boiled down to his essence Torn is basically an evil son of a bitch. He has no qualms about his lot in life. He wants to destroy anything and everything that stumbles upon his island. That is until fair Serena is brought to him. His basic instinct is to kill her but there’s something about her that’s stopping him.

Now I’m normally of the belief that you get a more menacing enemy the less you know about him. Take the Dark Lord Sauron, for most of the Lord of The Rings books he’s just a badass burning eye. There’s little exposition going on there. We know he’s evil because J.R.R. never bothered to prove otherwise. I’ll be honest; I struggled through the first bit of Act 3 because the author was trying to humanize a character who tells us himself he’s pure rage.

Serena is forced to fight off Stockholm syndrome because of Torn’s behavior towards her. He allows her to wander castle Grayskull and his apple orchard (get it?! Garden of Eden, Lilith’s tears… Apples) with no supervision.

Not far off from how I pictured it

I won’t give away too much more because that would spoil the ending of the book but I will say, the expose done in the beginning has a purpose and it is a doozy.

Overall, Lilith’s Tears is a very well written book about to what lengths one would have to go to save the woman he loves. It is full of subtle and overt references to many great works of myth and legend. The climactic battle between the forces of good an evil was exceptionally crafted.

If you’re a fan of pirates, mythology, immortal skeleton kings or love stories then Lilith’s Tears would make for a truly good read.

9/10

He'Brewin I'm drinkin' - HE'BREW Origin Pomegranate Ale

He’Brew Origin Pomegranate Ale

Shmaltz Brewing Company, San Francisco California

8% ABV

$5.39 p/22oz. bottle at BevMo

If there's one thing I've taken from my trips around the world both at BC's Pizza and Beer in Clovis California (stop on by they're awesome people) and literally, it's that there are tons of great beers out there. I have only had the pleasure of experiencing a select few of what is out there and that excites me. There is always something new to try and I'm game for whatever.

This is the second half of my Books to Drink By review series and I hope it helps steer some of you towards some great drinks you haven't tried before. Eventually I will be merging the two features of this blog, pairing the themes of a book with one or more alcoholic beverages (or non-alcoholic if I have any underage viewers). Like, the Twilight series is like Coors Light. They were both created for the sole purpose of getting rich off the masses while barely resembling what they claim to be (literature in the case of Twilight and beer in the case of Coors). And after you've finished both you're left with a huge headache.

Every Friday I will try to keep them to their seasonal appropriateness but I can't make any promises. 

Our first beer up is He'Brew Origin Pomegranate Ale

This is the first certified kosher beer that I can recall drinking. I may have at one point in my life stumbled into a Jewish Deli and asked for something boozy. My time with Mossad is a little hazy. But hey, we’re drinking beer so it’s all good.

Yes I took the picture myself. Delicious huh?

Origin is a clear glowing amber beer with a cloudy white head that dissipates surprisingly fast. Pouring it into a 0.4l glass gave me about a finger of head that was gone within seconds. The aroma was a sweet tart that is reminiscent of a Belgium ale but not as harsh or bitter. There was a faint pine-citrus aroma which isn’t too uncommon for a California beer. You smell it a lot in beers from the northern area. Strangely enough for a beer that boasts being pomegranate based there wasn’t much of a fruity smell. Taking in the first draw of the beer was smooth. It is pretty dry with almost no fruity flavors but afterwards you get that faint pomegranate taste that lingers for a while. Overall He’Brew Origin is crisp light and refreshing with no harsh or bitter overtones. The subtle flavor of pomegranate serves to complement rather than define the beer.

The Only Thing to Fear Is Fear Itself - Techno-Fear by German Alcala

Techno-Fear (The Novel)

By German Alcala

Self-published January 10, 2012

I know the past couple of reviews haven't been that great. I've been struggling to find the right pace for this blog. My goal is to present you with enough detail to get you to like the books I read without giving you too many spoilers. That stops now. I'll still avoid giving you too many details but I'll spoil the crap out of a book if it gets my point across. So without further ado, this weeks book is... Techno-Fear!

Set in the technologically advanced past of 1980, Techno-Fear is a sci-fi fantasy about a rag tag group of survivors of a terrorist attack who are thrown into an alternate dimension. Starting out in an amusement park called Techno-Joy which is a cross between Las Vegas, Disney World and a Japanese Mall an unknown group sets a hacker on the path to bring down America’s biggest technology corporation. Acting on an anonymous tip that was faxed to him (it is 1980 after all), the CEO of Techno-Joy and Mango Computers Jonathon Suede contacts the CIA* to help avert the coming disaster.

The CIA sends one of their top agents Tony Trinity to supervise the operation. Unfortunately Tony is too late and all hell breaks loose. Joining him is fellow CIA operative and psychic Stephanie Givoskil; Margaret Bombo, a woman who sends me into Vietnam flashbacks from editing papers for people who are ESL whenever she speaks; Jean Roux, a former child star searching for his lost boyfriend after the attack; Harold Adorno, a personal trainer who is constantly described as an Adonis (which I admit I had to Google, an Adonis is a really good looking guy named after a Roman god) and the rest of the cast of Lost who eventually get one episode.

(*I’ll give it to the young author; the CIA is a badass organization to include in a sci-fi/fantasy novel. They’re so far integrated in our culture what with the fight against terrorism and counter espionage that it seems to make sense. But keep in mind that officially the CIA has a directorate to never conduct operations on American soil. It keeps them from stepping onto the toes of other government agencies. A more likely group to head up the investigation would be the FBI’s cybercrimes division. Hell even the NSA might even work, except I don’t think they have field agents.)

Techno-Fear is so far reaching that the reader has to be constantly on their toes to avoid being lost. Whether that was by accident or design remains to be seen. This book has everything a sci-fi nerd needs; a digital world, technology run a muck, an interesting plot and oh yeah did I mention yet that there’s a fucking DRAGON. Yeah that's right, it's right there in the description of the book, an effing dragon. Not just any dragon, a dragon queen. I think that was the selling point when I was looking for a new book to read. Tell me there's a dragon involved and I get all high school nerdy on ya.

The terrorist attack opens a rip in the time-space continuum and the group is pulled into a digital world referred to as Techno-Fear (because joy is replaced with fear). This alternate dimension is less Tron and more the wood between the worlds in The Magician's Nephew. They group is forced to search for shelter and other survivors while also looking for a way home.

Things don't go as planned when the dragon queen sends her minion Sylvester to kill or enslave everyone trapped in the parallel world. Our heroes now must fight for their lives instead of just survive. They eventually escape Sylvester and take refuge in a replica of the queen’s castle and make their final stand before the rip in the space-time continuum repairs itself and nearly traps them in the digital hell. Once back home they learn there are several hundred people missing from the wreckage of the terrorist attack. It is implied that they were trapped in Techno-Fear. Knowing that nobody would believe them, the group decides to keep what transpired a secret for fear of being thrown in the loony bin.

Tony Trinity was my original choice for a main character when the book first opens. There was so much effort put into making him the de facto hero at first. He's forced off the road on the way to Techno-Joy and this causes him to reach for a carton of cigarettes in the glove box. That just screams badass. Then when shit hits the fan we’re reminded that he’s prepared for any eventuality because of his CIA training. He's unfazed by the sight of endless dead bodies. Unfortunately soon after everyone makes their introductions, our boy Tony is reduced to a supporting character. The closest I could find to a main character after that was Jean, a character who borders on being classified as a Mary Sue. Jean is given the most back story and character development. Things also just sort of happen to him. He’s a central character for the soul reason that he's there and he’s essential to the climax of the novel. I could basically describe the book as the story of Jean Roux, a fifteen year old searching for love and a way home after being transported to a parallel dimension.

As much praise as Techno-Fear deserves with regards to the overall story this book is rife with grammatical and continuity errors and the occasional anachronism. Two of the characters mention the 2001 movie The Others staring Nicole Kidman then admit that it won’t be out for a couple of decades (Nicole Kidman wouldn't have an onscreen role until 1983 so it’s doubtful the characters would even know who she was). While I enjoyed Techno-Fear it seemed more like a first draft than a complete novel to me. Had our author had an editor (an unfortunate downside to self-publishing) this could be a bestselling sci-fi novel. I’m impressed with the depth of work German Alcala has amassed in the few years he’s been publishing. A search of his Amazon author page shows 17 books, short story collections and poetry collections. Pretty amazing considering he’s only fifteen. I hope he eventually lands himself an agent who hooks him up with a proper publisher to make some serious bank.

Side note: If homoerotic scenes offend you, especially those between adult men and adolescent boys then this book is most definitely not for you. There are two scenes, one romance novel level graphic, that take place.

5/10 great story but could use some editing to really make it great.

I won’t be doing a review next week in order to get some of my own writing done and take care of some personal business. We’ll return with a review of Lilith’s Tears by David Jones. Until then, keep it real.

And then there were Six - The Power of Six by Pittacus Lore

The Power of Six (Lorien Legacies part deux)

By Pittacus Lore

Harper Collins August 23, 2011

A vast improvement over its predecessor I am Number Four, The Power of Six starts right where we left off. John Smith AKA Number Four is running for his life from both the Mogadorians and the U.S. government who believe him to be a terrorist. He is joined by his best (only) friend Sam “G-man” Goode and the ever sexy Number Six. For most of the book Sam and John treat her like Remy Hadley from House as she refuses to give up her “human” name.

Co-narrating is Marina AKA Seven of Nine (comment if you get it) who is held up in an orphanage/convent in Spain. Marina’s Cepan Adelina has chosen to drink the Catholic Kool Aid and pretend their former life didn’t happen. Because of this, Marina has to develop her legacies (magic powers) in secret. She befriends the town drunk Hector Ricardo who vows to protect her as it is in his name (I didn’t get it either) and Ella, the spry new girl who holds some secrets of her own.

The flow of this book is a hundred times smoother than the first book. There were some rumors going around that Stephen Fry’s coauthor left the project due to creative differences. If that is true then good riddance, he was apparently the author I didn’t like.

A far cry from the mostly teen angsty I am Number Four, this book has plenty of action scenes. Though not to be outdone in the drama department, there is a love rectangle going on between John, Sam, Number Six and the absent Sarah. Both John and Sam try to get into Six’s pants while he has to stop and force himself to remember who he’s dating. Six hints later in the book that she would be down for an interspecies threesome but that’ll probably happen in another book.

Pittacus has also fixed the physics issues I had with the first book. The Loriens no longer sprint at speeds in excess of 65 miles an hour; they run just slightly faster than normal humans as Sam has no problems keeping up. Marina has the legacy of breathing underwater which is way cooler than flashlight hands.

Comparatively speaking, The Power of Six is more like Empire Strikes Back and less like Matrix Reloaded. I’m glad they shelved the movie adaptation because they totally screwed up on I am Number Four the movie.

9/10 for kicking ass and taking names

Next week we will be reviewing the novel Techno-Fear by German Alcala.

Coming Fall 2012: "The Tiger's Wife" by Tea Obreht

The Tiger's Wife by Tea Obreht
Published by Random House March 8, 2011

In time for Oscar season comes the touching story of Natalia Stefanovic (Elisha Cuthbert) and her grandfather (Sir Ian Mckellen). As a young girl, Natalia would follow her grandfather around on his daily errands while he regaled her with stories of The Tiger's Wife (Parminder Nagra) and the deathless man (Jude Law). Now a young doctor on a goodwill mission with her childhood friend Zora (Mila Kunis), Natalia must deal with the news of her grandfather's passing. A heartwarming tale that reminds us that the power of love transcends even death. Based on the New York Times bestselling novel by Tea Obreht comes The Tiger's Wife. Screenplay adapted by Kevin Askew.

So there isn't really a movie being made about this book but I'm pretty sure if there were I'd be right on at least one of the actors. Maybe they'd pick Ian Holm for the roll of the unnamed grandfather instead but damn it if they're going to not cast Jude Law as the deathless man.

You gotta give it to Tea Obreht, girl knows how to write a book. Spanning several decades, The Tiger's Wife weaves an intricate and detailed story. The story of Natalia's relationship with her grandfather, a Jungle Book loving old kook who befriended the wife of an escaped tiger and the nephew of Death himself. The "legends" her grandfather tells her have more truth to them than she had originally thought.

My favorite character in this book is Zora. She's sassy, smokes french cigarettes and makes no issue of the fact that she is nothing if not bad ass. She had t-shirts made after her cussing out the head of the genetics department (which I'll have for sale as soon as I get my online merch shop). The characters are so well thought out as are the central themes that Tea has you eating out of the palm of her hand by the second chapter.

If I had to find a downside to this book I would say Natalia sometimes goes overboard in describing what is going on around her. It's difficult as an author to find the balance between the right amount of exposition and going overboard. For the most part this isn't an issue but at least once I found myself going "Is this really necessary?" Overall a great book well worth the read.

9/10 for strong characters, beautifully described scenery and Zora, the most underutilized character in the whole book.

*Oh right, before I forget. There's this drink that is used a lot in the book. It's called rakija and I really really want to try it. If any of you know where I could get some please let me know.

Next week we will be reviewing The Power of Six. The second in the Lorien Legacies series by Pittacus Lore.

They Call Me "Number Four" - I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore

So I've been kicking around some ideas on what to do with this blog. Mostly I'm kicking around ideas to do with myself while I hunt for a new job. In keeping with the title Books to Drink By I'm going to be doing some book reviews and maybe reviews of other things that interest me.


I'd like some input on books to review though, I don't want this to be all about me. If you have any suggestions please post them in the comments, twitter, facebook, google+ et al. 


First up however is:

I Am Number Four (Lorien Legacies)

First Published August 3, 2010 by Harper

Author: Pittacus Lore

I Am Number Four is the epic (?) tale of John Smith, a Garde from the planet Lorien who has been hiding on Earth for the past 10 years with his guardian Cëpan, Henri. After the vicious attack on their planet by the evil Mogadoriens (who I nicknamed Mog Dogs and came pretty damn close to their actual nickname) left Lorien little more than a sphere of ash, nine children are forced to flee in order to later rebuild their civilization. The Garde are a class within Lorien society that eventually develop super powers called legacies. Some of them are lame like having flashlights for hands but others are pretty cool like turning invisible and having telekinesis. The Cëpan are a somewhat servant class on Lorien that don’t have powers and raise the Garde from a young age.

To protect the children until they are strong enough to fight back, the Loriens put a charm on them where they can only be killed in numerical order. (“You gotta be f*cking kidding me!” – Number one after finding out how the charm worked) The charm has the added bonus of reversing whatever damage would have been dealt back at the attacker.

The book was written by Pittacus Lore, a pseudonym for James Frey and Jobie Hughes. The same James Frey who was famously berated by Oprah Winfrey on national television for his supposed memoir A Million Little Pieces. So you know the dude is a great story teller. I still don’t know why they went with a pseudonym because the story is told in a first person narrative from the perspective of Number Four. 

My biggest issue with this book was the fact that it was written by two authors. I’ve read other books that use two authors (Good Omens for example) and they turned out well but James and Jobie just don’t seem to jive with each other. I could always tell when the narrative switched from one author to the other. One of them was really great at describing a scene and pushing the story along but horrible at dialog. While the other was great at dialog but couldn’t move the story along to save his life. I'd like to find an article they do out of character (Seriously they've done interviews AS Pittacus Lore) where they admit who did what part of the book.

At first I didn’t like the gross misunderstanding of physics and biology utilized by the authors. One character was able to jump a three hundred foot ravine and another was able to swim two miles underwater while only coming up once to take a breath. Add to that the fact that the alien heroes can easily run 65 miles an hour, throw objects into the next county and punch people in a way that they will fly twenty feet through the air and have next to no injuries.

I took issue with this mostly because in high school I was such a nerd that a friend and I spent a lot of time thinking about what it would actually take for human-like creatures to have even remotely like that of comic book characters. We had drawings, diagrams and everything it was a lot of work.

A few chapters in though I remembered this was a YA book and calmed the heck down with my misplaced frustration. I also remembered that they optioned off the movie rights a year before the book was even published so I started to read the book as if I were watching a movie. That made the book infinitely more enjoyable. I made the mistake of watching the movie though and that was a giant disappointment. With all the special effects pretty much detailed in the book, I have no idea what the movie makers were thinking. 

But that’s a whole different blog.

I Am Number Four is a Young Adult novel with typical YA characters. The supporting cast fit into their stereotypical mold. Sam Goode is the nerdy best friend who wears big dorky glasses and a constant supply of NASA t-shirts (Because Star Trek and Star Wars are copy written, duh). Sarah Hart is the love interest who is totally hot and not a bitch and has a fascination with photography. I’m not sure exactly why she’s the love interest except for the fact that she’s blond and the narrator tells us she’s beautiful. He doesn’t describe how she’s beautiful so we’re just supposed to take him at his word. The human antagonist is Mark James, the star quarterback, son of the local sheriff, ex-bf to Sarah and overall giant douchebag. He’s there to provide conflict so the author doesn’t blow his prose load and have the bad guys show up early. John even has a pet beagle named Bernie Kosar after a poster in John’s room of the famous quarterback (I gotta say, dude is bad at picking names. First he names himself John Smith and now he names his dog Bernie Kosar?). Bernie Kosar has a secret that I totally called in the first chapter but I’ll leave it for you to figure out on your own.

The character development and scene description is often bland and makes you wonder what is going on in the narrator’s head but I attribute this to the duel authorship. Other scenes are spelled out in fantastic detail and the pacing is spot on for the genre. The main character's love story serves only to get him in trouble. First with Mark James and again right before spit hits the fan. Henri demands that they leave town and stay alive but John wants to stay so he can hook up with Sarah. But I was 15 once and if it came down to getting laid or avoiding being killed by an evil race of aliens I would totally choose the girl. Hell I’m 27 and I’d still choose the girl.

The Mogs eventually discover our hero’s whereabouts and all hell breaks loose at the high school. John, Sam and Sarah are joined by a mysterious chick in a shiny skin tight outfit that turns out to be one of the other Garde named Six (that’s literally all they ever call her). They defeat the bad guys (cause this is the first of six books) and Six, John and Sam head out on the road to try and find the rest of the Lorians.

The book was a surprisingly quick read at 448 pages. Before I knew it I was halfway through it and couldn’t put it down. If you go into the book like you’re watching an action movie or reading a comic book you’ll really enjoy it. It is a YA novel so it’s geared towards younger folk but I got a kick out of it none the less.

7/10 for action, character stereotyping and breaking the laws of physics.