He'Brewin I'm drinkin' - HE'BREW Origin Pomegranate Ale

He’Brew Origin Pomegranate Ale

Shmaltz Brewing Company, San Francisco California

8% ABV

$5.39 p/22oz. bottle at BevMo

If there's one thing I've taken from my trips around the world both at BC's Pizza and Beer in Clovis California (stop on by they're awesome people) and literally, it's that there are tons of great beers out there. I have only had the pleasure of experiencing a select few of what is out there and that excites me. There is always something new to try and I'm game for whatever.

This is the second half of my Books to Drink By review series and I hope it helps steer some of you towards some great drinks you haven't tried before. Eventually I will be merging the two features of this blog, pairing the themes of a book with one or more alcoholic beverages (or non-alcoholic if I have any underage viewers). Like, the Twilight series is like Coors Light. They were both created for the sole purpose of getting rich off the masses while barely resembling what they claim to be (literature in the case of Twilight and beer in the case of Coors). And after you've finished both you're left with a huge headache.

Every Friday I will try to keep them to their seasonal appropriateness but I can't make any promises. 

Our first beer up is He'Brew Origin Pomegranate Ale

This is the first certified kosher beer that I can recall drinking. I may have at one point in my life stumbled into a Jewish Deli and asked for something boozy. My time with Mossad is a little hazy. But hey, we’re drinking beer so it’s all good.

Yes I took the picture myself. Delicious huh?

Origin is a clear glowing amber beer with a cloudy white head that dissipates surprisingly fast. Pouring it into a 0.4l glass gave me about a finger of head that was gone within seconds. The aroma was a sweet tart that is reminiscent of a Belgium ale but not as harsh or bitter. There was a faint pine-citrus aroma which isn’t too uncommon for a California beer. You smell it a lot in beers from the northern area. Strangely enough for a beer that boasts being pomegranate based there wasn’t much of a fruity smell. Taking in the first draw of the beer was smooth. It is pretty dry with almost no fruity flavors but afterwards you get that faint pomegranate taste that lingers for a while. Overall He’Brew Origin is crisp light and refreshing with no harsh or bitter overtones. The subtle flavor of pomegranate serves to complement rather than define the beer.

The Only Thing to Fear Is Fear Itself - Techno-Fear by German Alcala

Techno-Fear (The Novel)

By German Alcala

Self-published January 10, 2012

I know the past couple of reviews haven't been that great. I've been struggling to find the right pace for this blog. My goal is to present you with enough detail to get you to like the books I read without giving you too many spoilers. That stops now. I'll still avoid giving you too many details but I'll spoil the crap out of a book if it gets my point across. So without further ado, this weeks book is... Techno-Fear!

Set in the technologically advanced past of 1980, Techno-Fear is a sci-fi fantasy about a rag tag group of survivors of a terrorist attack who are thrown into an alternate dimension. Starting out in an amusement park called Techno-Joy which is a cross between Las Vegas, Disney World and a Japanese Mall an unknown group sets a hacker on the path to bring down America’s biggest technology corporation. Acting on an anonymous tip that was faxed to him (it is 1980 after all), the CEO of Techno-Joy and Mango Computers Jonathon Suede contacts the CIA* to help avert the coming disaster.

The CIA sends one of their top agents Tony Trinity to supervise the operation. Unfortunately Tony is too late and all hell breaks loose. Joining him is fellow CIA operative and psychic Stephanie Givoskil; Margaret Bombo, a woman who sends me into Vietnam flashbacks from editing papers for people who are ESL whenever she speaks; Jean Roux, a former child star searching for his lost boyfriend after the attack; Harold Adorno, a personal trainer who is constantly described as an Adonis (which I admit I had to Google, an Adonis is a really good looking guy named after a Roman god) and the rest of the cast of Lost who eventually get one episode.

(*I’ll give it to the young author; the CIA is a badass organization to include in a sci-fi/fantasy novel. They’re so far integrated in our culture what with the fight against terrorism and counter espionage that it seems to make sense. But keep in mind that officially the CIA has a directorate to never conduct operations on American soil. It keeps them from stepping onto the toes of other government agencies. A more likely group to head up the investigation would be the FBI’s cybercrimes division. Hell even the NSA might even work, except I don’t think they have field agents.)

Techno-Fear is so far reaching that the reader has to be constantly on their toes to avoid being lost. Whether that was by accident or design remains to be seen. This book has everything a sci-fi nerd needs; a digital world, technology run a muck, an interesting plot and oh yeah did I mention yet that there’s a fucking DRAGON. Yeah that's right, it's right there in the description of the book, an effing dragon. Not just any dragon, a dragon queen. I think that was the selling point when I was looking for a new book to read. Tell me there's a dragon involved and I get all high school nerdy on ya.

The terrorist attack opens a rip in the time-space continuum and the group is pulled into a digital world referred to as Techno-Fear (because joy is replaced with fear). This alternate dimension is less Tron and more the wood between the worlds in The Magician's Nephew. They group is forced to search for shelter and other survivors while also looking for a way home.

Things don't go as planned when the dragon queen sends her minion Sylvester to kill or enslave everyone trapped in the parallel world. Our heroes now must fight for their lives instead of just survive. They eventually escape Sylvester and take refuge in a replica of the queen’s castle and make their final stand before the rip in the space-time continuum repairs itself and nearly traps them in the digital hell. Once back home they learn there are several hundred people missing from the wreckage of the terrorist attack. It is implied that they were trapped in Techno-Fear. Knowing that nobody would believe them, the group decides to keep what transpired a secret for fear of being thrown in the loony bin.

Tony Trinity was my original choice for a main character when the book first opens. There was so much effort put into making him the de facto hero at first. He's forced off the road on the way to Techno-Joy and this causes him to reach for a carton of cigarettes in the glove box. That just screams badass. Then when shit hits the fan we’re reminded that he’s prepared for any eventuality because of his CIA training. He's unfazed by the sight of endless dead bodies. Unfortunately soon after everyone makes their introductions, our boy Tony is reduced to a supporting character. The closest I could find to a main character after that was Jean, a character who borders on being classified as a Mary Sue. Jean is given the most back story and character development. Things also just sort of happen to him. He’s a central character for the soul reason that he's there and he’s essential to the climax of the novel. I could basically describe the book as the story of Jean Roux, a fifteen year old searching for love and a way home after being transported to a parallel dimension.

As much praise as Techno-Fear deserves with regards to the overall story this book is rife with grammatical and continuity errors and the occasional anachronism. Two of the characters mention the 2001 movie The Others staring Nicole Kidman then admit that it won’t be out for a couple of decades (Nicole Kidman wouldn't have an onscreen role until 1983 so it’s doubtful the characters would even know who she was). While I enjoyed Techno-Fear it seemed more like a first draft than a complete novel to me. Had our author had an editor (an unfortunate downside to self-publishing) this could be a bestselling sci-fi novel. I’m impressed with the depth of work German Alcala has amassed in the few years he’s been publishing. A search of his Amazon author page shows 17 books, short story collections and poetry collections. Pretty amazing considering he’s only fifteen. I hope he eventually lands himself an agent who hooks him up with a proper publisher to make some serious bank.

Side note: If homoerotic scenes offend you, especially those between adult men and adolescent boys then this book is most definitely not for you. There are two scenes, one romance novel level graphic, that take place.

5/10 great story but could use some editing to really make it great.

I won’t be doing a review next week in order to get some of my own writing done and take care of some personal business. We’ll return with a review of Lilith’s Tears by David Jones. Until then, keep it real.

And then there were Six - The Power of Six by Pittacus Lore

The Power of Six (Lorien Legacies part deux)

By Pittacus Lore

Harper Collins August 23, 2011

A vast improvement over its predecessor I am Number Four, The Power of Six starts right where we left off. John Smith AKA Number Four is running for his life from both the Mogadorians and the U.S. government who believe him to be a terrorist. He is joined by his best (only) friend Sam “G-man” Goode and the ever sexy Number Six. For most of the book Sam and John treat her like Remy Hadley from House as she refuses to give up her “human” name.

Co-narrating is Marina AKA Seven of Nine (comment if you get it) who is held up in an orphanage/convent in Spain. Marina’s Cepan Adelina has chosen to drink the Catholic Kool Aid and pretend their former life didn’t happen. Because of this, Marina has to develop her legacies (magic powers) in secret. She befriends the town drunk Hector Ricardo who vows to protect her as it is in his name (I didn’t get it either) and Ella, the spry new girl who holds some secrets of her own.

The flow of this book is a hundred times smoother than the first book. There were some rumors going around that Stephen Fry’s coauthor left the project due to creative differences. If that is true then good riddance, he was apparently the author I didn’t like.

A far cry from the mostly teen angsty I am Number Four, this book has plenty of action scenes. Though not to be outdone in the drama department, there is a love rectangle going on between John, Sam, Number Six and the absent Sarah. Both John and Sam try to get into Six’s pants while he has to stop and force himself to remember who he’s dating. Six hints later in the book that she would be down for an interspecies threesome but that’ll probably happen in another book.

Pittacus has also fixed the physics issues I had with the first book. The Loriens no longer sprint at speeds in excess of 65 miles an hour; they run just slightly faster than normal humans as Sam has no problems keeping up. Marina has the legacy of breathing underwater which is way cooler than flashlight hands.

Comparatively speaking, The Power of Six is more like Empire Strikes Back and less like Matrix Reloaded. I’m glad they shelved the movie adaptation because they totally screwed up on I am Number Four the movie.

9/10 for kicking ass and taking names

Next week we will be reviewing the novel Techno-Fear by German Alcala.

Coming Fall 2012: "The Tiger's Wife" by Tea Obreht

The Tiger's Wife by Tea Obreht
Published by Random House March 8, 2011

In time for Oscar season comes the touching story of Natalia Stefanovic (Elisha Cuthbert) and her grandfather (Sir Ian Mckellen). As a young girl, Natalia would follow her grandfather around on his daily errands while he regaled her with stories of The Tiger's Wife (Parminder Nagra) and the deathless man (Jude Law). Now a young doctor on a goodwill mission with her childhood friend Zora (Mila Kunis), Natalia must deal with the news of her grandfather's passing. A heartwarming tale that reminds us that the power of love transcends even death. Based on the New York Times bestselling novel by Tea Obreht comes The Tiger's Wife. Screenplay adapted by Kevin Askew.

So there isn't really a movie being made about this book but I'm pretty sure if there were I'd be right on at least one of the actors. Maybe they'd pick Ian Holm for the roll of the unnamed grandfather instead but damn it if they're going to not cast Jude Law as the deathless man.

You gotta give it to Tea Obreht, girl knows how to write a book. Spanning several decades, The Tiger's Wife weaves an intricate and detailed story. The story of Natalia's relationship with her grandfather, a Jungle Book loving old kook who befriended the wife of an escaped tiger and the nephew of Death himself. The "legends" her grandfather tells her have more truth to them than she had originally thought.

My favorite character in this book is Zora. She's sassy, smokes french cigarettes and makes no issue of the fact that she is nothing if not bad ass. She had t-shirts made after her cussing out the head of the genetics department (which I'll have for sale as soon as I get my online merch shop). The characters are so well thought out as are the central themes that Tea has you eating out of the palm of her hand by the second chapter.

If I had to find a downside to this book I would say Natalia sometimes goes overboard in describing what is going on around her. It's difficult as an author to find the balance between the right amount of exposition and going overboard. For the most part this isn't an issue but at least once I found myself going "Is this really necessary?" Overall a great book well worth the read.

9/10 for strong characters, beautifully described scenery and Zora, the most underutilized character in the whole book.

*Oh right, before I forget. There's this drink that is used a lot in the book. It's called rakija and I really really want to try it. If any of you know where I could get some please let me know.

Next week we will be reviewing The Power of Six. The second in the Lorien Legacies series by Pittacus Lore.